Love makes fools of us all – can’t remember who said it but it’s kind of true; falling for someone is the sure fire way to cut your IQ by half.
Now this spell may last anything from a couple of months to a matter of seconds – but be sure: fancying someone will make you feel embarrassed, self-conscious, stupid and insecure – opening up a whole wardrobe of emotional monsters for you to deal with that you had no idea even existed. It is all irrational and comically marvellous…
Sometimes you might see someone in passing and think – hey they’re fit – and that’s it. Whereas sometimes you can see someone and it can feel like you’ve been hit by a train.
Suddenly your world becomes a movie script and everything is all Romeo and Juliet, so intense and dramatic – the pining longing whirlwind of emotion and obsession. Every note book you own will develop a rash of doodles – covered with initials, hearts and stars.
You find yourself suddenly socially inept – a stuttering, clumsy, blushing pillock with what feels like a heart condition as it starts to race every time they look at you. You will discover new and imaginative ways to make yourself look and feel stupid and inadequate – whether anyone else will notice is another matter.
Everything in your world will revolve around this new person; they are the centre of your world. You will plan your future together, imagining the kids you will have, the house you’ll buy and dream of growing old together and living happily ever after….hmm?!
They stand high on a pedestal, immune from the frailties of normal mortals, unable to do wrong – even their farts will smell of roses. And here lies the problem – unfortunately there are people out there that will use this willingness to ignore and accept bad behaviour (in the name of love) to use you, take advantage of you or as an excuse to treat you badly. To find out more, read this…
Unfortunately we don’t always get a choice of who we fall for; there is often no rhyme or reason why certain people tend to push all the right buttons. It is not always the most obvious of people who do it for us; they don’t have to be fit or funny or cool or even actually very nice or treat us well. Quite often we’re just suckers and here lies the problem:
There is no guarantee that:
1 – they will fancy you back
2 – they are worthy of your affections
3 – they will treat you well
4 – your family or friends will approve
5 – they wont ruin your street cred
6 – you will live happily ever after
7 – that you will even like them tomorrow!
Your feelings can change very quickly, and there is certainly no guarantee that 4EVA will last for one or both of you no matter how many table tops and toilet doors you scribble it on.
For some people who they fancy can cause a lot of pain and worry. Again it depends on your and your family’s beliefs – unfortunately there are many people who have issues with relationships across races or religious beliefs or between members of the same gender. To find out more about coming out read this…
Often it becomes a balancing act between keeping others and yourself happy. At the end of the day it is your heart and your life. You cannot pretend to fancy someone just because your family approves of it or because it is convenient. You need to do what is right for you, as it is you who is going to have to live with the consequences. Equally you cannot make someone else fall for you if they don’t feel the same way.
© Going off the Rails 2014. Adapted from ‘Playing Downstairs’ by Jonny Hunt