Coming Out

Definition: Coming out or coming out of the closet, is a figure of speech used for lesbian, gay, bisexual or trans* (LGBT) people’s disclosure of their sexual orientation or gender identity.

Sexual Orientations Definitions:

Gay – is sexually attracted to members of the same sex (often specifically used to describe men who fancy other men)

  • Lesbian – a woman who is sexually attracted to other women
  • Bi-sexual – someone who is sexually attracted to both men and women
  • Asexual – tends to describe someone who is not interested in sex with anyone
  • Heterosexual/Straight – someone who is attracted to the opposite sex

Gender Identities

  • Gender queer – describes someone that doesn’t neatly fit in the stereotypical boy/girl box
  • Transgender – describes someone that doesn’t identify with their biological gender
  • CIS – is a term used to describe someone who’s gender identity matches their biological gender – it is used to get away from awful terms like normal

Accepting yourself as gay or trans* can be difficult – there is still the assumption that somehow everyone is straight by default.

Could you imagine someone sitting their folks down and saying ‘Ok mum, I’m not quite sure how to tell you this… so I’m just going to say it- I have been struggling with this for some time… and look, I know what you are going to say – ‘it’s just a phase’ – but it’s no -. Look I am sure. Mum… I’m straight…’

As you grow up, you may find yourself attracted to either guys or girls or both. Sometimes these feelings change and sometimes they don’t. Either way it’s ok.

We don’t really know much about why we fancy the people we do – it just is. The important thing is to accept yourself and understand that other people might have different feelings about who they are attracted to.

It seems ridiculous that in this day and age who someone happens to fancy is still such a big deal…

Unfortunately for some people the decision whether or not to come out can cause all sorts of issues and unhappiness – especially when coming out would come into conflict with personal, religious or cultural beliefs.

On the flip side for others coming out can be a huge relief, bringing respect, new friendships and confidence.

Remember, your sexuality and gender is your business and no one else’s.

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